It has been a while since I have written and for that I apologize. I am sorry to those whom may follow this little endeavor of mine, but I also apologize to myself. After a conversation with my fiance about self-processing and the differences between personal verbal processing and other forms of working through ideas, thoughts, and dreams I realized that I am an external literary processor. I am overcome with several different ideas of varying importance (mostly just important to me!) and I write them out to make sense of it all, in the form of songs, poems, theological inquiries, confessions, and psalms that I can look over, read through, sing, and weep over sins with. I mainly do this because I can look back at them, read them and use my visual analytic skills to take heart the changes that the Lord has brought about in my life. To read through my past posturings and heartfelt ideas and see how much progress has been made in discerning God’s will for me, and it is truly satisfying when done in the light of the understanding that only the Holy Spirit can provide (Colossians 1:9). Growing in faith through trials and tribulation is a beautiful thing to behold. To know that our Heavenly Father is very much involved in our lives in the most intricate and intimate (most of the times dirty and hurtful) of ways is awe-inspiring to me. Deistic theology astonishes me, how someone could profess Christ as a doctrinal god without actually believing He IS God, intertwining His sovereignty into every fine detail of our existence from the very beginning (Romans 8:28-32). But with this can of worms opened, I have dove head first into a study of the Holy and the source of holiness with the utmost ability (the Spirit inside) to attempt to comprehend God’s will in the light of our struggles specifically and how we often respond to God’s workings.
The Easton Dictionary of the Bible defines “lamentation” as “An elegy or dirge. Prophecy sometimes took the form of lament when it predicted calamity.” (speaking on Old Testament accounts) This idea of mourning, in a sense, before God at our inability to grasp His ultimate plan and/or our fallen-ness in the form of crying out as though He has forsaken us, through literal means or metaphorical, is something else to observe entirely, but is as real as God Himself. This is a falling before the throne as the insufficient and unrighteous beings that we are and landing on our faces to lift up our hearts to The All Sufficient Deity that we worship as Lord of all, the Turner of all tides in our lives, the Potter, Redeemer, Almighty God, whom we trust with proof of eternal worthiness. Lamentation is a healthy and glorifying way to ask God “why” with keeping in mind the knowledge that it is because we are utterly fallen in light of His holiness, for to see yourself rightly you must look at God (not literally, no one has done that!) and it’s then you will see your image, before Christ but most importantly after. This is evident throughout the Old Testament in the lives of the people of Jerusalem (2 Samuel 1:17-27 , Amos 8:10, Ezekiel 27:2, and all of the book of Lamentations).
Without embarking too far into territory that I have no historical backing or mapping in I will merely try to speak on the subject that has burdened my (and those I love) life lately, and I use the term burden loosely. One in the sense of a weight that affects our lives in the form of a severe task, or a difficult duty and also in the sense of a holy load blessed and pressed upon our hearts with eternal urgency (I shutter at using words and phrases like these because I know that with my short(?) writings I don’t even come close to presenting concise conclusions on ideas that I have most of the time! I just pray that the Lord uses what I am able to communicate in these to help me process and maybe someone else to find rest in what I put my life into the hands of!) Point being in all of this: sorrow, pain, suffering, and our response to these experiences can ultimately be fuel for glorification if we view them in the light of more than just provision of perseverance (or endurance as most translations use, Romans 5:1-5) but also God making His will known to us through a deep root strengthening, a faith fortifying formula to drawing ever nearer to us through His perfect justice and plan.
Psalm 23 rings true with echos of our portion in God’s hard and difficult sharpening and pruning process, especially when we fully comprehend what it means to”not be in want” (Psalm 23:1). This is a difficult thing to understand, how to trigger a change of heart from an unwillingness to know that faith is to be had with perfect reason, to thinking and believing that the reason for faith has been chasing after you the whole time, all the while gently whispering to you amidst your cries for help and guidance to say, “I have been there, I am there, and I will be there. I Am who I Am!” whether you are aware of it or not, for He does not change what has already been set in His heart and with every fiber of our being we should pray for that same heart to beat within us.
Scripture speaks no greater truth than that of the very words of our Savior, “I have manifested Your name to the people whom You gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and You gave them to me, and they have kept Your word. Now they know that everything that You have given me is from You. For I have given them the words that You gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from You; and they have believed that You sent me. I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom You have given me, for they are Yours. All mine are Yours, and Yours are mine, and I am glorified in them. And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, keep them in Your name, which You have given me, that they may be one, even as We are one. While I was with them, I kept them in Your name, which You have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them Your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one.They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth. As You sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word,that they may all be one, just as You, Father, are in me, and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You have sent me.The glory that You have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as We are one,I in them and You in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that You sent me and loved them even as You loved me.Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that You have given me because You loved me before the foundation of the world.O righteous Father, even though the world does not know You, I know You, and these know that You have sent me.I made known to them Your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which You have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” (John 17:6-19 ESV Y’s capitalized for emphasis) The amount of “You”‘s in this prayer simply proclaims the intimacy of our God, His perfect involvement in the lives of those He welcomes as His true children (1 John 3:10, Romans 9:8)! This is our Lord, the “Truth”, propitiation, praying for us, to know that there is ALWAYS hope! Through suicide, divorce, job strain or loss, family conflict, school stress, financial strain or loss, death, or any other form of anguish that we find ourselves trapped by He is there, right there, on His face in prayer to our Father. Praying that we keep a cross centered heart, always remain obedient to perfect obedience, humble before humility itself, submitting and living (by studying through selfless expression) His perfect sovereignty, and lament in love.
Holy Father, sovereign Lord, be praised for every word, spoken and heard by inspiration of Your Spirit. Be my focus through depth of strain and darkest of valleys, through death and through life, give my heart rejoice that You are working in my life, my mother’s understanding, my father’s faith, my fiance’s heart, Jacob’s health, my job’s goal, and my ministry’s aim. I lift Your Name high in and through this blog, God You sustain me evermore, more than I can ever imagine and I pray for discernment with gradual yet great grace, that only You can provide, to give You the glory in and through it ALL! In the powerful Name of Christ I pray, amen!
The Easton Dictionary of the Bible defines “lamentation” as “An elegy or dirge. Prophecy sometimes took the form of lament when it predicted calamity.” (speaking on Old Testament accounts) This idea of mourning, in a sense, before God at our inability to grasp His ultimate plan and/or our fallen-ness in the form of crying out as though He has forsaken us, through literal means or metaphorical, is something else to observe entirely, but is as real as God Himself. This is a falling before the throne as the insufficient and unrighteous beings that we are and landing on our faces to lift up our hearts to The All Sufficient Deity that we worship as Lord of all, the Turner of all tides in our lives, the Potter, Redeemer, Almighty God, whom we trust with proof of eternal worthiness. Lamentation is a healthy and glorifying way to ask God “why” with keeping in mind the knowledge that it is because we are utterly fallen in light of His holiness, for to see yourself rightly you must look at God (not literally, no one has done that!) and it’s then you will see your image, before Christ but most importantly after. This is evident throughout the Old Testament in the lives of the people of Jerusalem (2 Samuel 1:17-27 , Amos 8:10, Ezekiel 27:2, and all of the book of Lamentations).
Without embarking too far into territory that I have no historical backing or mapping in I will merely try to speak on the subject that has burdened my (and those I love) life lately, and I use the term burden loosely. One in the sense of a weight that affects our lives in the form of a severe task, or a difficult duty and also in the sense of a holy load blessed and pressed upon our hearts with eternal urgency (I shutter at using words and phrases like these because I know that with my short(?) writings I don’t even come close to presenting concise conclusions on ideas that I have most of the time! I just pray that the Lord uses what I am able to communicate in these to help me process and maybe someone else to find rest in what I put my life into the hands of!) Point being in all of this: sorrow, pain, suffering, and our response to these experiences can ultimately be fuel for glorification if we view them in the light of more than just provision of perseverance (or endurance as most translations use, Romans 5:1-5) but also God making His will known to us through a deep root strengthening, a faith fortifying formula to drawing ever nearer to us through His perfect justice and plan.
Psalm 23 rings true with echos of our portion in God’s hard and difficult sharpening and pruning process, especially when we fully comprehend what it means to”not be in want” (Psalm 23:1). This is a difficult thing to understand, how to trigger a change of heart from an unwillingness to know that faith is to be had with perfect reason, to thinking and believing that the reason for faith has been chasing after you the whole time, all the while gently whispering to you amidst your cries for help and guidance to say, “I have been there, I am there, and I will be there. I Am who I Am!” whether you are aware of it or not, for He does not change what has already been set in His heart and with every fiber of our being we should pray for that same heart to beat within us.
Scripture speaks no greater truth than that of the very words of our Savior, “I have manifested Your name to the people whom You gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and You gave them to me, and they have kept Your word. Now they know that everything that You have given me is from You. For I have given them the words that You gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from You; and they have believed that You sent me. I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom You have given me, for they are Yours. All mine are Yours, and Yours are mine, and I am glorified in them. And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, keep them in Your name, which You have given me, that they may be one, even as We are one. While I was with them, I kept them in Your name, which You have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. But now I am coming to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them Your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one.They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth. As You sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world.And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word,that they may all be one, just as You, Father, are in me, and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You have sent me.The glory that You have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as We are one,I in them and You in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that You sent me and loved them even as You loved me.Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that You have given me because You loved me before the foundation of the world.O righteous Father, even though the world does not know You, I know You, and these know that You have sent me.I made known to them Your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which You have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” (John 17:6-19 ESV Y’s capitalized for emphasis) The amount of “You”‘s in this prayer simply proclaims the intimacy of our God, His perfect involvement in the lives of those He welcomes as His true children (1 John 3:10, Romans 9:8)! This is our Lord, the “Truth”, propitiation, praying for us, to know that there is ALWAYS hope! Through suicide, divorce, job strain or loss, family conflict, school stress, financial strain or loss, death, or any other form of anguish that we find ourselves trapped by He is there, right there, on His face in prayer to our Father. Praying that we keep a cross centered heart, always remain obedient to perfect obedience, humble before humility itself, submitting and living (by studying through selfless expression) His perfect sovereignty, and lament in love.
Holy Father, sovereign Lord, be praised for every word, spoken and heard by inspiration of Your Spirit. Be my focus through depth of strain and darkest of valleys, through death and through life, give my heart rejoice that You are working in my life, my mother’s understanding, my father’s faith, my fiance’s heart, Jacob’s health, my job’s goal, and my ministry’s aim. I lift Your Name high in and through this blog, God You sustain me evermore, more than I can ever imagine and I pray for discernment with gradual yet great grace, that only You can provide, to give You the glory in and through it ALL! In the powerful Name of Christ I pray, amen!